There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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