I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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