You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
