He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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