What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
