Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was born a porn star she said
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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