Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Of course I have a pirate flag
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
