dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
