After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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