he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
