I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
