her vagine was all disorganized.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
