god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
