no, he came in my armpit
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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