yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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