is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
