So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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