No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
