We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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