the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
