i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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