She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
where does the pee come out of this thing
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
