He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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