I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
