I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
