I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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