you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
