i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
