so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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