I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
