she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
