I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i now understand why vodka
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
