We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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