I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have post one night stand depression
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