you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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