Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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