She announced her abortion via fbk
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
