Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
