we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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