I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
