I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
