You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
