This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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