Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
