from now on my penis is your penis
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
