Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
