YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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