We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
