guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
