I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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