Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
