whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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