Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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