Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
