This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
