Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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